This isn't about salvia, but... that's what the general forum is for right?

[JD1stTimer]

I just came back from a bar where I hang out on Monday nights.  Three weeks ago my parents were visiting and I brought my mom with me, and we met this girl named Hillary and I didn't go the next Monday, last week I didn't see her there, but tonight I saw her again.  I really want to get to know her, but the problem is that I'm not that good at distinguishing people and over and over again throughout my life I have started conversations with people I don't know on the basis of mistaken identity.

I didn't talk to her tonight because of fear that I would say hello and whoops, it could be the wrong person.  I feel suicidal which is something I haven't experienced in years.  I don't know what to do, I am 28 years old and I have never been with a woman.  I think there's something wrong with me but there is no way I can afford psychological counseling.   It's like I sabotage myself every time I like someone.  I feel completely powerless.  Thanks for reading this post, I know it's pretty pathetic to have such a stupid-sounding problem.

[longjourney]

 My friend if you feel suicidal you need to tell your mom or a family member. If you don’t do that or if you can’t please go into an emergency room and explain your problem. You must get help somewhere.

 We all need some help sometimes.

[Sasquatch]

Say you do say “hello”, and it’s not the right person. What’s the worst that could happen? You have nothing to lose. You could even be honest and do something like:

– Hello, this may sound cliché, but I feel like I’ve seen you before. I’m not so good with faces, but names stick with me. Are you Hillary, by any chance?

Possible outcomes:

1)
– Oh, hi <whatever>! Great to see you again!
– I’m really glad to see you too! I think we really hit it off when we last met.

2)
– Yeah, I’m Hillary. Please forgive me, but I can’t recall your name right now. You know, I’m good with faces but not so good with names.
– Hi Hillary, my name is <whatever>. So do you come here often?

3)
– Sorry, you’ve got the wrong person. My name’s <whoever>.
– Ahh, my bad! Mind if I sit down here anyway?
– Sure, go ahead! / Sorry, I’m holding that chair for someone else...

Take it easy :-).

And remember, internet fora are a poor substitute for therapy… Although this is probably the most good-natured forum I’ve ever seen! You’re saying you’re feeling suicidal. I don’t necessarily think that visiting an emergency room is going to help the situation if it just a diffuse feeling. If it is just a feeling, stop reading here and back up to the positive / constructive advice at the start of this post.

If you really feel like you are close to taking action on those feelings and that you can’t control those dark thoughts even if you want to, then you should seek some help. Remember that while it is always your right to end your own life, it is a decision you can’t reverse on. And don’t you dare blame S. divinorum ;-).

[longjourney]

JD1stTimer,

 A little more info for you my friend.

 The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

 Remember suicide is a very permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[hazyshaman]

Hey man, we all go through this type of situation at one point or another. I have several times in my life and can tell you that what you're going through is not worth taking your life. Unfortunately I am being a hypocrite in saying this because at one point in my life I actually attempted suicide with a 44 magnum. Luckily for me the internal percussion cap malfunctioned and the round did not go off. I am extremely happy that I am still here today and able to enjoy what life has to offer. I myself have not had a woman in my life for many years and I crave the companionship. I have learned to not go looking for someone, but to allow someone to find me. It will happen when it is your time. Just remember, whatever is bothering you on the inside is trivial and there are more important things in life like family, enjoyable memories and good close friends. Just think what you would put your family through if they had to bury you. You need to find something that occupies your mind, like a good hobby. Like everyone has stated, try and talk to this woman if you really feel a connection with her. Just speak directly from your heart and everything will fall into place.
Take care man, be happy.
Peace, HS

[JD1stTimer]

Just cause I feel suicidal doesn't mean I intend to carry anything out.  It's a feeling that has come to the surface throughout my life and I learned pretty early how to deal with it.  Actually, using salvia left me with a kind of relief for weeks afterward once I got over the disturbances I told you all in these forums.  Also another favorite plant provides long-lasting good cheer and high spirits for several days after usage.  Anyway, yeah, that's what I will do the next time I see her... just say I'm not so good with faces or something, now that she already thinks I'm some kind of rude for just apparently ignoring her.  What I need counseling on is the fact that I sabotage myself... wow there was this girl I dated a few times, I really liked her a lot, I think she liked me (She always accepted my offers for a date), but she got sick and threw up at the movie theater and then I almost kissed her when I dropped her off at home and I got nauseous instead (thinking about the fact that she puked) and pulled back from an almost-kiss, she looked freaked out and then I never called her again...     It's like I found an excuse to ruin a good thing.  Does anyone else do this?  Anyways, as soon as I get some health insurance I'm going to talk to a doctor.

[hazyshaman]

I kinda do the same thing. I fear rejection and commitment. Even if I am certain someone likes me, I will find an excuse to not talk to them. Usually my reason for staying away is that I know with a girlfriend comes BIG commitment, like long phone calls, dates, expensive gifts etc. It seems to me like it's more trouble than it's worth so I don't pursue women with a passion. I have way too much drama and problems in my life to take more stress. I will eventually start dating again when I don't have so much on my plate  .

[k2ybugger]

thats sound just like me, finding an excuse to ruin something good...i do it ofen, and always regret it....i think it is mostly because of being nervous.