Salvia therapy?

[JD1stTimer]

When I was a child I was sexually abused by multiple people over the course of several years.  The only saving grace is that many of them were close to my age, and none of them were related to me...  Anyways, I have been unable to normally develop socially, I'm 28 and I have never even kissed a girl (At least voluntarily), and I have only been out on five or six dates.  I think this is due to psychological issues resulting from both the past abuse and a strict religious upbringing with VERY heavy emphasis on the uncleanliness of sexual relations.  In my experiences on Salvia I have basically been told that everything I have been taught about sexuality is a big dumb joke, and that I NEED to hurry up and get involved romantically RIGHT NOW NO TIME TO WASTE OR YOU'RE GONNA BE IN BIG TROUBLE MISTER.  This has encouraged me to finally really get serious about cleaning up the trashhole of a house I live in, and to bust a hump applying for different jobs so I'll have enough money to actually be able to entertain a lady and (hopefully) get married and raise kids.  Maybe go back to school too.  Anyways, I think this is very beneficial for me, and I am wondering if anyone else has found similar inspirations from the Lady.  Also my church offers professional counseling for everything from sexual abuse issues to drug addictions, and I am wondering if anyone has found good results from professional therapy or maybe the two in combination (Though I am reluctant to use SD again, at least at visionary doses.. see my experience report for more details).  Any advice is appreciated, thanks.

[Paradoxic]

I'm sorry to hear about your past, that certainly explains why you have been reluctant to find a sexual partner. It definitely seems like Salvia has helped you to confront this issue, and you are definitely not the only one Salvia has done this for. I've read many others talk about how Salvia brings shadowed personal issues out into the light. Personally, I haven't experienced anything that drastic, but I have only had a couple breakthrough experiences. However, Salvia always leaves me with a more positive outlook on the world and it has also really helped me to appreciate the interconnectedness of all humans and the universe.

Professional therapy could definitely help, but whether or not you do that is completely up to you. I think just going out and trying things, talking to women, taking chances is really what you need to do. You really don't need money and a job to attract women. I'll admit it can help, but the reality is if you want to find a worthwhile partner they have to care about you and your personality, not your material property.

[JD1stTimer]

Yeah, but it's expensive to raise children properly.  If I can't afford a movie ticket or whatever, how can I afford doctor's bills, sports equipment, food, diapers, all that other stuff.  I think it is prudent to use financial resources as one criteria in picking a mate.

[Paradoxic]

I suppose if you look at it in the long-term thats true. However, when I seek a relationship or fall into one I don't necessarily think in the long-term. I think in many cases it can actually be detrimental to do so. If you meet someone you like you may or may not want to have a long-term or serious relationship with that person. Usually it will take quite some time to determine that. You're only in your late 20's, most women wont expect a man of that age to have their whole life and career figured out. Also there is no need to start thinking about children either, I think you'd find that most women will get freaked out if you start talking about children right off the bat. You just gotta go out and meet women and if you end up getting close to one, just go with the flow and see what happens. Believe me, when it comes to relationships you really can't anticipate or plan for anything...plus I think the best parts about them are those that are unexpected.

[JD1stTimer]

Yeah, I understand that stuff.  I'm just thinking that it's in the back of everyone's mind, so if you wear obviously repaired shoes and pants with little holes in them and you can't afford a movie ticket, well, it really doesn't speak too highly of your reproductive potential...  because no one's thinking these things out logically, they just *like* the guy with new clothes and some financial flexibility.  It's sexy is what I mean.  Just like being able to see that your girl can get a baby out without crushing it's skull or killing herself.  Those wide hips are just hotter than a little-boy-figure (IMO).  Even though we can do cesareans to deliver children that otherwise wouldn't have, it hasn't been around long enough for us to drop wide hips completely off our selection criteria.  I could be wrong about that though.  Are there any females on these boards who could elaborate?  Actually, Paradoxic I guess you could be, after all it's not stated in your profile.  If you are, WOW, the fact that you founded this forum is pretty damn hot.

[Paradoxic]

No, I'm not a female, but I am pretty damn hot...jk hahah. I would beg to differ about wide hips being human selection criteria...although that is an interesting idea. I think as humans we have surpassed the old biological foundations for attraction. I think at this point the media controls more of our selection criteria than biological advantage. For example, skinny is hot now (I guess  ), which isn't particularly advantages when is comes to having babies. It seems like just about every aesthetic exists somewhere in this world and you can't really say which ones are favored. Theres someone out there to think just about anything is pretty damn hot (like someone who made a website )

[JD1stTimer]

Hehehe yeah I guess so but I'm not that much a fan of television anyway, at least not the sorts of programs that are trying to mess with my mind.  I watch A Daily Show and Colbert Report, and that's pretty much it.  Travel shows too are good, especially in HD.  When 24 comes back on I'll be on it every Monday night.  About the website designing being hot, it would really set a lady apart from the pack in my opinion, and ESPECIALLY a more scientific/knowledge based site rather than a celebrity or fashion site.  I know very few women who are into the sciences, and I believe the hard sciences are the only area of higher education where men are still the majority.  So it would just show me that you're different.  All the bobbledygobbledy my lady friends go on about drives me nuts. "OMG Did you see Jim Carrey with Jen McCaffrey at the Super Bowl blah blah"... WOW, you mean celebrities have other celebrities in their friendship and dating pools? AMAZING!  Anyways, maybe that's why I'm having trouble dating.. all the women I know are either married or annoy the hell out of me.   Now I'm curious, are there any women out here on these boards?  If so, maybe a personals section divided by major metro areas would be cool.  (Although after some of the posts I've made I probably seem a bit off... but it's not me, it's the salvia talking, I swear!)

[DrYRHead]

Yeah, but it's expensive to raise children properly.  If I can't afford a movie ticket or whatever, how can I afford doctor's bills, sports equipment, food, diapers, all that other stuff.  I think it is prudent to use financial resources as one criteria in picking a mate.

Try to go for a woman that has a good job with benefits. You have to have 2 people working to support a family right these days, anyway.
 
If you can not find many good women where you are at, there are many on-line dating services these days. So good luck.

[JD1stTimer]

Nahhh, you just drive economical cars, you learn some good housekeeping, home economy basic do-it-yourself repair skills, cook your own food... don't buy your kids new sneakers and cellphones and X Boxes, don't get into debt, and you can do it with a parent home at all times.  That's what I want, for either of us to be in the house at any given time.  I'm not gender-biased about it after infancy though.   I think it's happier for children too, even if they don't get all the toys they want.  Our grandparents could take the money we have today and would be able to absolutely do wonders with it.  We would be amazed at how they utilized their resources so fully. It's only a cultural bias that makes it seem important to double your income.  Plus then there's the child care, and from what I've heard from parents I know, if you're not eligible for charity/welfare child care it eats up most of the second income anyway. *edit Plus the homemade/creative fun is better for developing minds.  When I was a kid the fun stuff was drawing, painting, reading, building cardboard houses, bicycling.. that really taught me a lot.  When I got a nintendo I got fat and lazy, plus it wasn't really as much fun looking back on it.  I don't even remember all the hours I logged on Mario Bros. *edit*

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